The Ultimate Battle: Ham vs Canadian Bacon

Recently, the heart attack juggernaut that is Hardees (or Carl's Jr. for you Westerners) has been advertising its new Bacon Bacon Biscuit.  Canadian bacon, egg, cheese, and two strips of bacon are the components for this new breakfast creation that admittedly, doesn't sound all that bad.  But it got me to thinking: haven't we seen sandwiches in the past that feature both ham and bacon?  Aren't Canadian bacon and ham essentially the same thing?  What's the big deal?

Mmm, bacon.  Twice.

Well, let's clear up the differences first.  Canadian bacon is actually often referred to as "back bacon" outside of the U.S., which helps to reinforce the idea that Canadian bacon actually comes from the back of the pig, whereas ham comes from the hind quarter of the pig (the area referred to as the "ham", actually).  In the U.S., Canadian bacon and ham are generally cut and cured in a similar fashion, which is why we associate the two so closely.  As an aside, "country ham" is usually cured with just salt and has a different flavor.  Oh, the things you learn while researching online.

Is one superior to the other?  I guess it would all depend on your preference and the situation.  Let's suppose that, like me, you're a big fan of Hawaiian pizza.  Which would go better with the pineapple, ham or Canadian bacon?  I actually prefer ham on my Hawaiian pizza, as Canadian bacon will more often come with tougher edges, and I don't like it when I need to chew a lot.  However, on a breakfast sandwich, such as the Bacon Bacon Biscuit, I feel like I'd actually prefer the toughness of Canadian bacon.

You can put your hand down; this is just a picture.

So is this really a battle?  Will one win out over the other?  Yes; otherwise, I should probably just stop writing this.  I believe that Canadian bacon is, as a whole, superior to ham in American culture.  We've seen that it's not necessarily better in taste or texture, so where does it win?  Marketing.  Think about if the Bacon Bacon Biscuit was, instead, the Ham Bacon Biscuit.  If it had appeal before, it probably just lost it when converting it to ham, right?  Bacon (that is, regular U.S. bacon) has an almost heralded status in the U.S. as a luxury food.  I've said it before: bacon is to men as chocolate is to women and because of that, the use of the word "bacon" with any food often amplifies the appeal of it.

Thus, I think Canadian bacon retains a large marketing advantage over ham.  Ham is just another deli meat to most of us: we buy those little packs of it in the back of grocery stores and we put it in our very simple sandwiches that we pack for lunch the next day.  Ham is ordinary to us.  Canadian bacon, on the other hand, is more rare.  Most people only really associate it with Hawaiian pizza, or the occasional breakfast sandwich.  This rareness alone gives it greater marketing power, but add to it that the word "bacon" is in the title of the food, and it certainly carries a greater appeal than ham.

Those are my thoughts.  I'd love to hear yours.  And let me know if you ever go try that Bacon Bacon Biscuit.  It's probably a delight.

What the heck, man?: A Burned Bum

WTHM finally returns with a story that made me chuckle.

Article: http://espn.go.com/dallas/nfl/story/_/id/8276263/dallas-cowboys-hot-water-burned-fan-files-lawsuit-team

Summary: While in attendance for a Dallas Cowboys team scrimmage in August 2010, one female fan suffered third-degree burns on her butt from sitting on a bench outside the stadium.  It was over 100 degrees that day and the particular bench she sat on was black marble.  Her lawyer claims that this incident has caused "mental anguish, physical pain and disfigurement as a result of her wounds."  The Dallas Cowboys organization declined to comment.

Jason Witten's like.. really?

Notables: Cowboy Stadium is one of the most expensive stadiums in the entire world, so you figure that the perimeter of the stadium is kept just as nicely as the inside.  The woman claims that she did not realize the extent of the injuries until receiving medical attention.  There were no warning signs posted that suggest that the benches could get very hot.  She did not stay for the game.

Opinion: As odd as this story is, the WTHM award for this one goes to the Cowboys; at least, whoever decided to put black marble benches outside of the stadium in the Dallas sun and not provide a warning.  We live in a culture where people can win lawsuits if you don't properly put things like "peel before eating" on your food.  You gotta have enough foresight to put warning signs for your benches because regardless of what color they are, they could get hot.  The fact that this lady suffered burns and couldn't tell until she received medical attention is a bit of a stretch for me, but stranger things have happened.

Lemme clear my throat because it's been awhile but for this story, I say... What the heck, man?

Fantasy Football 2012 Primer, pt. 5: Drafting Guidelines

Let's cap this off with a look at a few of my guidelines for drafting in fantasy.  In reality, fantasy football is heavily based on luck, but as with any game of luck, there are ways to play the odds and put luck on your side.  My guidelines don't really change much from year to year, as they aren't based as much on the crop of players and are based more so on the drafter (you!).  Here we go.

The League: very funny show, heavily based on fantasy football.

1) Draft who you want, whenever you want: It might seem simple, but don't let the ESPN or Yahoo! or whoever rankings influence you too much.  If you're sitting there in the second round and you don't like the "recommended" pick, and there happens to be a guy who might be there in the third round when it's your pick again, but might not, go grab him now.  It's that simple.  You're naturally going to be much happier with a team of players that you wanted from the start, rather than a group of guys you picked because "it made sense with the rankings".

2) Don't draft a kicker until the last round: Even though I just gave you rule #1, this is the one policy I have from year to year.  Statistics show that the difference between the guy who finishes first among kickers and the guy who finishes fifteenth among kickers is generally insignificant.  They are the most unpredictable part of fantasy and there is greater value in drafting sleepers or solid backups before picking up your kicker.  As the season progresses, the waiver wire will fill with guys who average 2-3 more points per game in the kicker spot so if the kicker you draft is that bad, you can replace him.  For example, Stephen Gostkowski of the Patriots is the #1 ranked kicker this year.  If Brady and the gang are scoring touchdowns, Gostkowski's production is gonna fall and naturally, he will not have been worth picking up before the last round.

3) Keep an eye on the trends during your draft: Following along with rule #1 again, keep an eye on possible trends before your pick comes up again.  If there's a run on RB's or WR's, the guy you wanted two rounds from now might not be there if you wait, so you should go ahead and grab him now.  I do want to note that it would be nice to not have to fall victim to drafting trends, but rule #1 is first for a reason, and trends will sometimes dictate that you reach with your pick a little bit.

4) If you need to, take your entire draft time to make your pick: Whether your pick lengths are 60, 90, or 120 seconds, feel free to take all of the time you need to pick.  I know, others in your league might get annoyed if you're doing this constantly, but ideally, you're using the full frame of time to plan ahead a little bit as well.  Be courteous, but don't cave in to complaints either.  They're allowed to take the full amount of time too.

So that'll do it for this series.  If I do this again, I'm gonna get it started a bit earlier in the summer, as I felt a bit rushed in research.  I felt the quality of my presentation may have suffered a bit because of that as well.  Let me know if this was helpful for you or not; I'd love to continue it from year to year (probably in a smaller amount of entries).  Good luck on your drafts and your league this year!

Fantasy Football 2012 Primer, pt. 4: Sleepers

In our second-to-last part of the primer, we're going to take a look at some sleeper picks that I have for this season.  Truth be told, just about anyone past the first few rounds could be considered a sleeper.  Fantasy football is about educated guesses and luck; you never know where the next big sleeper performer will come from.  That said, here's a list of picks that I project to produce this year.  Remember, since we're talking sleepers, I'm gonna avoid talking about guys that will probably be picked in the first 3-4 rounds.

Quarterbacks:

Jay Cutler, CHI - I've never been a big fan of Cutler, but adding a coach and his favorite wide receiver from his golden years in Denver, as well as playing in a division with weak pass defenses, bodes well for him this year.

Josh Freeman, TB - Let's not forget how productive he was two seasons ago.  One bad season won't a bust make.

Mark Sanchez, NYJ - I'm choosing to believe in Sanchez this year.  So far, all I've seen from him is the right attitude about the Tebow situation.  Mental strength is gonna be big for him.

Running backs:

Isaac Redman, PIT - Though the last couple years have looked different, the Steelers are still a team that want to run the ball.  Rashard Mendenhall, the presumed starter, has a poor injury history.  Give me the consistently healthy bruiser.

Peyton Hillis, KC - What we're finding around the league is that many backs actually perform better when splitting carries.  Hillis carried the load for Cleveland last year and got worn down.  He and Jamaal Charles should both be productive this year.

Mike Goodson, OAK - Same idea as the other two.  Darren McFadden is an explosive talent, but has never been consistently healthy.  Goodson performed well in Carolina behind the tandem, and has a chance to contribute for a sleeper Oakland team.

Wide Receivers:

Go Titus!

Torrey Smith, BAL - It's no secret that Joe Flacco likes to throw deep, and this is his primary deep threat.  I'm hoping Flacco has improved his deep accuracy and that Smith will get more chances.

Titus Young, DET - It figures that I'd give my Lions some love, but with all of the extra attention on Calvin Johnson this year (not to mention his presence on the Madden cover... I believe in it!), Young will get more opportunities.  He's one year better; let's hope he shows it.

Stephen Hill, NYJ - This is really reaching deep, but Stephen Hill is another one of those Georgia Tech receivers (Calvin Johnson, Demaryius Thomas) and the Jets have a thin receiving core.  Rookie receivers are always dangerous in fantasy football, but Hill has an opportunity to step in and contribute.

Tight Ends:

Jacob Tamme, DEN - It doesn't matter that Peyton Manning and Tamme have played together in the past.  Whoever Peyton's tight end is has a great chance to be productive.

Kyle Rudolph, MIN - Christian Ponder is entering his second season, after a rookie campaign where he showed some good signs as the quarterback.  Rudolph will be one of his primary targets this year.

Defenses/Kickers:

Nothing to say here.  Both defenses and kickers are often a crapshoot (except for the top few defenses).  Don't pick them til late.

Next week, we close the series with my guidelines for drafting.  Enjoy your weekend!